I love the ocean. Sometimes, when by the sea, I feel as if I was born from its waters….a bonding so revitalizing, it has always been where I go to regain perspective and strength. In 1994, my two children were 7 and 5 and I was a full time working mother, teaching 25 second graders by day and mothering my own two by night. Though I loved motherhood (still do even now as they enter adulthood), between being a wife, mother, teacher, I felt as if the woman spirit in me was inadvertently being forgotten; there just wasn’t time to nurture me. I longed for the day when I would have time to "take up" painting, and as my artist's statement says, I doodled endlessly: daydreaming of spectacular visions that would come some day. Then, one night, after everyone else went to bed, I decided to play around with my kids’ paints. After all, I provided painting experiences for my students and my own two kids, why couldn’t I have a turn to myself?The figure of the “motherwoman” in “Motherwoman Ahhhhh” came out as if by herself; a doodle that looked like me, sitting at the ocean, alone -- a mother, yet still very much a woman looking to maintain her identity and energy. Then the ocean, sand and sky came naturally next. It felt so good, it was almost as if I were actually sitting by the sea. I took out another piece of paper and immediately the memory of the joy I experience when lying with my toes in the water appeared before me. All alone in the kitchen, amidst the still of the night, I was having the best time since…I couldn’t remember. Very late, I went to bed with the confidence that yes, I am a mother—a good mother, but I am still my own person, on hold by choice, knowing that one day, when the time was right, I would indeed spring forth. Ten years later, rummaging through drawers, looking for something else, I came upon these two paintings and was instantly inspired to recreate them onto canvases. By this time, my children were 17 and 15 and I found my time to paint at last: while waiting up till their curfew and they walked safely in the door. Western Massachusetts, where I live, is filled with beautiful mountains and fields, and though I love the ocean more, this is where I spend most of my time: hence, “Motherwoman, Mmmmmm.” Perhaps I will paint more motherwomen, for she lives forever inside me. My daughter is now 20 and my son 18, but I am eternally their mother and I am forever a woman, full of heart, soul and a passion for expression. 
Contact: Jerilyn Kolbin, jkhereandnow@yahoo.com
